Just so you know, I haven’t completely fallen off the face of the planet, but I have been hiding in the shadows. I’ve been in a major funk for some time now and have been trying to get out of it, although nothing seems to be working. I haven’t felt like reading, writing, crafting… pretty much anything that has an “ing” at the end of it. I have been designing a book cover for a nutritionist who is marketing her nutrition plan. She’s publishing an e-book and a softcover complete with worksheets, etc. So I have that keeping me going for the moment.
Honestly, other than that I have been obsessed with Candy Crush, Candy Blast Mania and Farm Family. I don’t know why, but I’m drawn to match 3 apps, lol. And I started playing The Secret World again. And lately, my daughter has had me trying out different games on the Xbox/PS3. I played Dead Island for like 12 hours straight the other night. Apparently, living in a fantasy world is the only thing that gives me any joy.
I need to go back to the doctor, but I keep putting that off. It’s come to the point where leaving the house literally gives me fits of anxiety. Unless I can drive through, the thought of walking in anywhere where there’s people urks me. I don’t think it’s so much the beginnings of Agoraphobia as it is being embarrassed of what I look like. Not to mention that even walking from room to room kills my back. Everything does. Even bending over to pick something up sends pain shooting up my spine. It’s a catch 22. Exercising is the only way to get better, but the physical pain from exercising prevents me from doing it. The only thing that helped was when I walked around the pool (because of the weightless factor) but now the pool’s been taken down until next season and I can’t afford to pay for any gym pool access.
ANYWAY, this is just me ranting so I’ll stop for now. Just wanted to let anyone who was wondering where I was know that I’m still alive and kicking. I miss the weekly writings, hopefully I’ll get back into it soon.