What happens Next?

In a blink of an eye, my life has passed. I sit here and realize that I have absolutely nothing to show for the past 33 years of my existence. I’m back at square one; a teenager living with their parents. Except this teenager isn’t a teen and has a 12 year old daughter of her own to care for. I want so badly to pick up and move. Start over some place with no memories and nothing but a promising future. Somewhere that I can be anyone or anything that I want. That has four seasons and a quaint village-like atmosphere. With cafes and shops all within walking distance…. maybe even below my tiny studio apartment. But that’s a dream… one that for someone like me will never come true. It’s just not in the cards.

I do know, however, that right now I want to go back to school. I took so many things for granted when I was younger. Time, for one thing. It goes by way too quickly. And once it’s gone, there is no getting it back. My only problem is I don’t know what I want to go back to school for. There are so many things I could do. My best subject was always Language Arts. I love reading, writing and have always had a bad habit of correcting people’s grammar. I’ve often thought about becoming an editor. Then maybe one day working up to publishing. My passion is writing. Not even so much just story-telling, but anything that lets me write. And when I say write, I mean the old-school written word. I love to feel the pen in my hand and see the smeared ink of a job well done. I’ve always had a weird fascination with office supplies. The first place I would go in any store is the stationery aisle. I have more pens and pencils than one needs in a lifetime. I love filling out forms… I love filling out anything, really. I have an array of those fill-in-the-blank type journals that are kind of like mini-scrapbooks about your life. My notes are all hand-written. So, to cut it short, I like writing. Period. I also like to color and make things. I have a horde of artistic/creative craft supplies. Markers, colored pencils, crayons, paints; not to mention plain paper, specialty paper, notepads, journals, post-its and labels. I have scrapbook papers, tissue paper, journal cards, all things scrapbook related. My second passion is graphic design. I’m a self-taught Photoshop user. I used to create blog skins way back when, before everyone started doing it and now there are too many too count. I love to make book covers. I LOVE creating templates for office papers, full sheet, half sheet, letterheads, fax cover sheets, business cards, menus, fliers, postcards, or anything to do with advertising. You know… you’re basic print shop work. If I had the tools to open and market my own print shop, I would be in heaven. Especially if it meant I could work from home.

I tried turning my crafts into a profit at BisforBreezy.com but so far I have only had one person buy a custom designed baby stats frame. I just have all this creativity bursting at the seems, but what good is it if I can’t do anything with it? That’s what is so frustrating. I’m truly good at a lot of things, but I can’t seem to find a job that lets me USE those talents. I always get sucked back into the clerical world… which I am way above average when it comes to. (Not to toot my own horn, but I really am great in office environments. I’ve come out of each position leaving it in much better condition than when I started. I’m naturally detail-oriented and extremely organized so at least my OCD is good for one thing!)

I love playing mmorpg’s too. I’m addicted to fantasy and when I play those games, I feel like I’m somewhere else. And as a player, I’d be great at helping with design ideas. I love watching or reading anything supernatural. Especially when I am researching plot ideas. Come to think of it, I love researching period. Reading about things is something else I find interesting.

Anyway, the whole point to my ranting and raving is too say that I want to go back to school, I just don’t know what for. Like I said, there are so many things that I like to do, I just can’t find that one thing that’s perfect for me. And I have to think realistically, too. It needs to be something that will carry me through until death, because at this point, retirement is not going to be an option for my generation unless you save up for it or are independently wealthy. I am going to be working until I’m in the grave, so it needs to be something I can profit from in my old age, too. Like if I were to become an English teacher, when I got older I could tutor on the side. Or if I was an editor, I could still do that as it’s not in the least bit physically challenging. Plus, I would be able to edit from anywhere, so no matter where I lived, I could do it.

I wish there was some place I knew of that you could input your interests or talents and it would tell you what things you would be good at. I bet there is a perfect job somewhere out there that I’ve never even heard of.


4 thoughts on “What happens Next?

  1. Kate Loveton says:

    Should have added the notebook remark was based on one of your other blogged items. I’ve read several of them. You have a way with words, and like your passion and your honesty.

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